


To have a brother

by illwynd



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Incest Kink, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 13:51:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17225222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illwynd/pseuds/illwynd
Summary: Thor meets a man he likes a lot and who likes him in return.But Thor has a secret, something he has always desired...





	To have a brother

**Author's Note:**

> AKA Thor has an incest kink.
> 
> A last fic of 2018? Perhaps? I'm just feeling this one today.

Thor fiddled with the cuffs of his dress shirt as he waited for his date to arrive.

Beneath the charcoal jacket, the shirt he’d chosen was a deep red, a color he’d been told brought out the blue of his eyes, made them seem brighter—but here it had to contend with the dimness of the room, the only light, it seemed, from the candles that flickered on each table. The perfect place for a romantic night out, he had heard, and he hoped Loki would agree.

He felt a little warm, but that might have just been nerves.

It was their third date, after having noticed each other in the park, Loki’s jogging pants creating a view that Thor had been embarrassed to be caught admiring. And when Loki stopped short in front of him, sweat glowing on his skin, Thor wondered if he was about to get cursed out or shoved or punched, but Loki had just leaned down to ruffle Mjolnir’s golden fur. And then he’d flicked his eyes up to give Thor a crooked grin.

Thor had mumbled out an apology, and somehow he’d gone home with Loki’s number saved in his phone and a promise that they would go for coffee, or perhaps drinks, the next time they both had an evening free.

That opportunity had come a few days later, and it had gone wonderfully. And their next date after that had been a success as well. He enjoyed Loki’s company, and he was quickly becoming deeply comfortable with him. Not complacence, not that kind of comfort where you stopped making an effort. But trust, and being trusted. Feeling safe enough to reveal the hidden parts of yourself that you were afraid to let anyone else see. Thor had never really felt that kind of comfort with anyone.

If tonight went well—that is, if it ended anything like the last two times had, first with Loki sucking him off fast and hot, making him bite his lip to hold back moans, spine pressed up against the stall door in the bathroom of the coffeeshop, for god’s sake, and the next time, Loki taking him home and beckoning to him from across an expanse of cool, crisp sheets and then _playing_ with Thor for what seemed like hours, touching him, doing things Thor had done a thousand times but making them seem new, pinching his nipples, scratching him, biting, jerking him off with a lube-slick hand while kissing him so deep he’d felt it in his belly. That amused laugh as his every reaction, his wide blinks and sudden gasps and babbled words.

If tonight went that well, Thor was resolved to tell him the thing that had been his deepest secret all his life. The thing he had always wanted.

Thor had been an only child. A spoiled, pampered brat used to having all the attention he wanted, used to getting his way in everything. And at the same time he’d been a lonely kid who’d grown up too fast and with an emptiness inside him, hungry for something he’d never tasted, something he was missing, deprived and with no way to fill the need.

If only he’d had a brother. Someone to confide in. Someone who would admire him and look up to him, someone he could teach and show. Someone who would love him, not from the great and unreachable heights of a parent but from his side, so close he could breathe with them, hold them and know that the two of them were together, that they would always be part of each other.

As a child, he’d wished his parents would have another son. When he’d first started to grow up, he’d had dreams of having a brother, actual dreams at night, dreams where he woke up and they ate cereal together with cartoons chirping along on the television in front of them, sitting side by side, socked feet touching. Dreams of roughhousing with him, dreams of holding him close and nuzzling into his hair… and then one morning he’d woken with a sticky wetness in his underwear and a blush of shame hot and swollen in his chest, because the dream still lingered, and he could almost feel his brother’s body pressed against his, nude and squirming and perfect. He’d thought about it again when he was awake, exploring the idea with his hand wrapped loosely around his erection, fingertips scraping against the bunched-up skin of his balls, and he’d come so hard he saw stars, and tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes after.

He knew it was wrong. But it also didn’t matter, because he had no brother to taint with his fantasies.

So Thor had grown up like that. And the fantasy, terrible as it was, had never left him. He didn’t really want it to. What he had dreamed of, when he dared—either in the optimistic moments or at the times when his life felt hollow and grey without even the hope of it—was finding someone who would _be_ his brother, the way he wanted. Someone he could confess that fantasy to and not be turned away in disgust. Someone who would understand the need he felt, or at least not loathe him for it.

It was undoubtedly too soon to really expect that Loki would be that person. Not when they’d known each other for barely two weeks. But Thor was foolish after years of longing, and excitement now was making him giddy. Mind racing and tripping over the possibilities. If tonight went well…

Thor looked up with a flush when Loki at last arrived, the tailored black-on-black suit fitting his shape so perfectly, its fine material making Thor crave having it under his fingers. Loki was everything he had always wanted in a brother, even when he hadn’t known it. Mischievous, with a glint of danger in his eyes, in his smile, but somehow making Thor feel completely at ease at the same time. So different from him, physically, with long black hair like a photo negative of Thor’s bright blond, his body lean and pale, a runner’s body and one that believed, religiously, in sunblock, but nonetheless Thor had no doubt that Loki was his match. Loki was clever and quick and bold, for all that he was quiet.

Thor wished he had been able to grow up with him. Thor wished they had been at each other’s side forever. He pushed the thought aside in favor of greeting his date and ordering a bottle of good wine (the one Loki picked) to go with their meal. And he tried to keep it out of his mind, instead asking Loki more about his work, his life. Trying to be a thoughtful date, even after the first glass of wine made its way into his veins, loosening up his worries, easing him into the comfort of Loki’s warm grin across the table, the lingering press of his fingers when their hands met, the hum of his voice, a sound that made its way through Thor’s ears and directly to his insides, stroking soft and tantalizing.

But somehow, during the course of their dinner, it crept back into his mind, and the question was on his tongue before he could stop it.

“Tell me what you were like as a kid,” Thor asked, and he could hear the infatuation in his own voice. It would have been embarrassing if not for the way the candlelight flickered in Loki’s green eyes, seeming to say that he was enjoying this and didn’t mind at all. His lips twitched as he grinned.

“I was pretty weird, honestly,” he answered after a brief pause for thought. “Are you sure you want to know?”

Thor did, and he nodded fervently.

*

After dinner, they made it back to Loki’s place before they were on each other, Loki goading him on as lust and excitement took over, keeping control of himself only enough to make sure he didn’t damage Loki’s suit.

And the box of condoms Thor spotted on the bedside table said clearly that Loki had the same plan in mind for the night. At least in a general sense.

Thor wanted to tell him.

Thor needed to bite his tongue and never say a word about it, ever, because the moment he voiced it would surely be the moment that Loki would look at him in revulsion, and Thor would never have this chance again. He knew he should shove the dream back in its hiding spot. If he did that, if he was good and kept pretending, he could at least have this, this beautiful man in front of him, almost naked already and clearly wanting him.

He watched as the trousers slid to the floor, revealing long, slim legs. The dark boxer shorts followed, and then Loki was completely naked, and so was he, and Loki was stalking closer, catching Thor’s staring gaze and returning it.

“Still looking, huh?” Loki said, voice full of humor, making Thor blush as he came close enough to grab Thor’s hands, holding them at their sides. “Well, you will have to tell me at some point whether you’d prefer top or bottom.”

Thor’s breaths were fast, and he could feel his heart beating in his chest.

“When I was a kid, I wished I had a brother. I sometimes thought about it… I figured we’d have bunk beds, and I’d let him have the top bunk if he wanted it.”

Thor heard the words pouring out of his mouth too late, forming what had to be the most ridiculous sentence ever spoken in that particular context. His cheeks burned.

Loki’s eyebrow lifted. “Oh?”

Thor didn’t trust his tongue not to come up anything even worse, so he just nodded.  

Loki’s hands released his then and lifted to his shoulders, and he began pushing Thor gently, inexorably backward until the backs of his knees bumped against the bed. Standing there, Loki kissed him, tangling fingers in his hair, twirling it a little, playfully.

“And what were you like as a boy, hm?” Loki asked, pulling back just enough to look into Thor’s face. “Perhaps also a little strange, from what it sounds like.”

Downward pressure from Loki’s hands on Thor’s shoulders, and Thor let himself be pushed onto the bed on his back. He scooted up toward the pillows at Loki’s gesture, and Loki followed, slinking up the mattress, coming to perch above him.

Thor’s body was alight already, his cock straining upward, red and firm, and Loki gave it a teasing touch, making it bob. But he didn’t wait for any reply; he reached over Thor to the bottle of lube that was waiting next to the condoms, and he pumped out a dollop onto his palm, letting it warm there for a moment.

If Thor had had a brother, he’d have wanted one he could love and take care of, and one who would push him as well, one he could trust but never entirely predict.

“It also sounds to me like this is what you want,” Loki purred, voice buzzing through Thor’s body as Loki’s hand slid between his thighs.

Knuckles brushed his balls and then the pad of a wet finger was circling his hole, spreading the slickness around, and Thor couldn’t help but squirm. That finger was going to slide inside him at any moment, and it felt like he had to either keep quiet forever or say something _now_. His chest felt tight, his throat felt tense, like something was about to shatter inside him. His mouth was shaping words, forming a whisper, and he couldn’t stop it.

“W-would you call me your brother?” he asked, desperate.

Loki stopped still for a moment. For long enough that Thor’s heart stuttered, long enough for him to try to come up with some excuse for what he’d just said.

“I mean… I… it’s not…”

Then Loki’s finger moved again, still circling slowly, trancelike.

When Thor dared glance downward—the shadowy ceiling was giving him no answers at all—he found Loki’s eyes fixed on him, sharp and piercing and full of fascination. Slowly, Loki licked his lips.

“I had no idea you felt this way about me, brother.”

The shudder of shock that coursed through Thor’s body, from his core to his fingertips and down to his toes, was pierced by the feeling of Loki’s finger pushing into him.

“What a dirty boy you are,” Loki said with a smirk as a whimpering moan escaped Thor’s lips. “I bet you wanted me even when we were younger, though you knew how bad it was. Did you?”

It was hard to get his wits about him even to nod, but he managed it.

“I always wanted you. I’d have done anything to have you,” Thor added in another, more tremulous whisper.

That admission seemed to spur Loki on, a new light flickering into his eyes.

“How very bold of you to tell me, even now, though,” he mused, and as he said it, a second finger slipped in beside the first, and he began to pump them both in and out a little more sharply, twisting them now and then. There was an edge to his motions, no longer smooth and easy. “I could get you into so much trouble. You must trust me very much, my darling brother. With what you’ve told me, I could destroy you.”

“But you won’t,” Thor gasped. “Will you?”

“Do you mean will I tell our mother and father that you’ve spent your whole life wanting me to fill you with my cock? Will I tell all your friends and everyone else you know—tell them what a deviant you are? Will I make it so you cannot show your face for the shame of it?”

Loki’s fingers wrenched apart, stretching him, and it was hard to breathe. That was what Thor had meant… and at the same time it wasn’t. Thor didn’t know anymore how much of this was a game—was Loki playing along with his fantasy beautifully, perfectly, Thor’s blood boiling at every word and his cock already beginning to leak onto his belly—and how much was a real threat, because with what he had revealed… if he was wrong to trust Loki, _someone he had known for only two weeks_ , Loki could truly destroy him.

The danger in Loki’s grin made his heart hammer, and he gasped again for breath.

“Will I tell _everyone_ and watch what happens to you, grinning behind my hand at your downfall?”

At that moment he withdrew his fingers and instead reached over for a little foil packet, tearing it open and rolling the little rubber sheath over his erection, then slicking more lube onto it.

Thor was terribly aware that Loki hadn’t really answered the question yet but was instead teasing him, leaning forward, his hips forcing Thor’s thighs farther apart. He stopped with the head of his cock pressed insistently against Thor’s asshole, his hand holding it steady, ready to take him. “Do you think I will?” he asked.

It was the strangest thing, to be aware of everything in that moment. The texture of the sheets under his back. The particular angle at which his knees were bent, his legs splayed wide. The hum of the fan in the other room, and the temperature of the air as it brushed over his naked body.

And most particularly, the solid, comforting weight of Loki’s hips between his thighs, and the thumping of his heart as Loki insinuated threats against him, but the dark green eyes that peered at his face were fascinated, warm.

Thor trusted him. Thor was afraid. But he trusted.

He shook his head, just a little, and Loki grinned. He rubbed the head of his cock more insistently in the slick, wet warmth between them.

“You’re very lucky, Thor. You’re right. I won’t, because this way, I get to have my big brother wrapped around my finger. Or whatever else I choose.”

And with that he pushed slowly inside, making Thor’s eyes go wide at the stretch, but Loki held his gaze, and all the times Thor had done this with anyone else, it had never seemed so intimate. He felt Loki could see inside him, could see everything about him. Loki pushed maybe halfway in before he pulled back just a bit, rocking his hips in little thrusts, going just a bit too fast, enough that it was overwhelming but not painful.

Before long, Thor was groping out for him, trying to pull him closer with legs and arms, clinging, holding on to that sensation.

“Yes, please, more,” Thor said, and he gulped air and said it, for the first time. “ _Brother_ , yes… I want it, I need you…”

Loki’s laugh was dark and pleased. “I know you do, and you’ll do whatever I want, won’t you? You’re my brother, so that means you’re _mine_. Did you ever jerk off to the thought of that, big brother, when you were fantasizing about me? Did it make it better?”

That took hold of him like a shudder in his belly, an uneasiness alongside the steady pleasure of Loki’s thrusts.

There had always been a dark side to Thor’s fantasies as well. Punishing himself for his deviance, imagining all the ways it could have gone so wrong if he’d gotten his wish. Finding out that such closeness could be dangerous. Having his devotion used against him, having his need used as a threat, something to bludgeon him with. He’d imagined his brother—a shadowy, uncertain figure in those days, somehow beautiful though Thor could never see his face—controlling him. Manipulating him. And part of him had loved it. Hadn’t cared a bit. Surely if he’d really had a brother, that would have been part of the deal. Someone to love. Someone who could make him weak.

He’d imagined heartache, as well. Being discovered and then of course they would have been separated, never to be alone together again, at the very least. He’d imagined lying in bed alone for all the years afterward, tears on his face and a cold, hurting longing inside him that would never be filled again. And somehow, even imagining that had seemed better, because at least it would be _real_. Not just something in his head, a wisp, nothing. He would have a brother to love, even if the only thing left of that love was pain. Even if they were apart. He would have a brother, and he wouldn’t really be alone.

His heart ached now with the echoes of it, with years of loneliness and wanting, and now _having…_

Loki was fucking him in fits and starts, hard fast strokes for a few moments, then slowing down, pulling out almost all the way and sliding back in, making him feel each inch, watching him with keen eyes still, as he had done from the moment they’d met.

“You are such a strange boy, aren’t you, Thor?”

Thor nodded, and Loki was kissing his face, where he had started crying. Brushing away Thor’s tears with his lips.

“What will you let me do to you?” Loki asked then, still giving him steady thrusts—and somehow his cock fit better in Thor’s body than anyone else ever had. Like he belonged there, like they’d been made for each other. That thought made it easy for Thor to answer the way he shouldn’t.

“Anything,” he groaned. “I’m yours, brother, you can do anything… I’ll give you anything.”

And Loki had known then exactly how far to push. Exactly how to take hold of him, how to fuck, how to drive inside and make Thor cry out with pleasure, with intensity, losing himself to it.

Loki placed one hand behind the curve of his neck, holding him in place, fingers on the edge of his hair and brushing against the tremble of his pulse, mouth coming down to cover his. Other hand wrapping around his erection and stroking, making him twitch and buck and whimper. All of Loki’s weight upon him, and Thor loved it, and the succession of quick firm thrusts until he was shaking and spilling all over Loki’s fist.

“Brother,” Loki gasped as he came, right after.

The strange, foreign feeling of Loki’s cock throbbing inside him but the wetness of his semen held back by the rubber, making Thor’s jaw clench with desire, wishing they could just…

The aftershocks were still rolling through him, soft and dark, and Thor wept anew.

*

When Thor came back to himself, blinking himself up and breathing deep, sprawling out on the bed, Loki was already ahead of him, putting the room back in order. And nearly the first thing he did was to right the picture frame on the bedside table, which Thor had carefully placed face-down in preparation for their game.

The two of them, aged 10, skinny and sun-kissed on a long summer day, arms around each other’s shoulders, Thor’s lips open as he laughed at something Loki had said, Loki’s eyes turned slyly toward his brother. It was one of Thor’s favorite pictures of them, capturing some essence that made his heart hum in resonance each time he gazed at it.

When Loki was done fussing around, Thor had managed to sit up, and Loki plunked down behind him, wrapping arms around his chest, chin to one side of his shoulder, nose against Thor’s neck.

“Was that how you wanted it?” Loki asked in a quiet murmur. “Was it dangerous enough for you?”

And it was. The adrenalin was still rushing uselessly along his veins, alerting him to the danger he’d put himself in—a danger that he had come to crave, and which they had had to invent this little game to satisfy.

He always felt so safe with Loki, no matter how strange that was. No matter how unreasonable. Loving his sibling _should_ have felt fraught, should have been full of doubt and fear and coercion. But it wasn’t. And it never had been. It had _hurt_ sometimes, the secrecy and the problems they had caused each other when they had clashed. Some of it he was sure they had done because _it should not be this simple_. Because _it should not be so easy to love you_. But he could bear that.

They could bear that together.

Thor had a brother who loved him.

It was all he had ever wanted and all he would ever need.


End file.
